Bisexual. Devoutly Married. Sorority Sister. Almost Nun. Theistic Satanist. Southern Belle.
pieandhotdogs sent: Hi, I'm currently a Hellenic polytheist, and I am comfortable with my gods, but recently I've felt drawn to the Abrahamic pantheon, and when I read your writings about Satan and Lucifer, the ache in my gut is almost unbearable.. i've never made an oath, but I feel so much guilt over these feelings. I really don't know what to do at this point. I know my beat bet is probably just to wait it out, but I don't want to ignore God and His angels if they really are calling me.

I would honestly suggest that you take the time to consider your feelings regarding Yahweh.  He likely is attempting to speak to you, but in some ways, it can seem difficult for many people to believe that.

We are all overwhelmed by the constant presence of Abrahamic beliefs in Western culture, and often to a point that we begin to ignore it.

It slowly becomes watered down.

An example would be that we know that, in Christianity, Christ died for humanity. However, the repeated message becomes so ‘clean’ to us that we don’t really think of how agonizing death by crucifixion is. We don’t imagine him sweaty, bloody, and moaning for his Father.

When you truly start to ponder such details, it can make one sick with the realizations.

Don’t have doubt that Yahweh would love to have you as his child. He would love to cover you in his grace. There is no reason to doubt that.

The only deciding factor is how you would feel about ceasing to worship the Theoi. They share the same qualifying factor as Yahweh; they will not be worshiped as lesser than another god.

Anonymous sent: Carpeumbra and WhoreofAbbadon should be choked with the bible.

I normally prefer to be the choker


I spent the morning in meditative drawing. I use pen and ink and don’t allow myself the luxury of an eraser. Just drawing and thinking.
Today I thought about Christ. I thought about pain. I tried to think of every wound; splinters embedded in open lash wounds, salty sweat stinging cracked lips, sunburned skin, raw eyes. The spit of others sticking to his flesh when his own mouth had none to spare. Broken bones and dislocated shoulders. Flesh slowly ripping under his own weight. A vision clouded by blood, just trying to meet the eyes of his mother. The indignity of being naked. Spears and nails and thorns and words. It’s overwhelming and I try to convince myself maybe it’s different for one resolute on dying for a greater purpose, that maybe he transcended that pain, but I remember the frailty of human flesh and I know better. I think about Mary, in the midst of that crowd roiling with hatred. How surreal it must have been to stand there weeping, thinking those futile thoughts that manifest during times of desperation. If they just knew how gentle he was, if she could tell them about her beautiful baby, her generous, smiling child, then maybe they would stop. She would tell them of the first time he was lost to her in Jerusalem, and how she cried similar tears. For three days she could only imagine countless horrors, how cruel it was to now witness them first hand. Mary, knowing all about destiny, coming to the realization she will outlive her boy, but still making silent promises to protect him.

I think about my blessings and I am very grateful.
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St. Mark’s Church, Philadelphia Good Friday 2013
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Anonymous sent: Are you doing anything this weekend to celebrate the pagan god of fertility



Unfortunately no. I hide away in a cave until Monday every year around this time.

Pagan God of Fertility?

Jesus was actually a God of Fertility. It’s a lesser known fact, because he chose to remain chaste out of fear of overpopulating the earth.


Anonymous sent: I don't like Solo or WoA or LDW at all...but I do like Carpe kind of a lot. I'm not sure what this says about me...


it’s the music, probably. that’s what gets everyone. also he’s pretty cool I GUESS.

It’s probably because he’s hot.

Seriously, have you seen that man?



It’s said if Lillith trust you enough or something similar then she will bless you with child.


because the Jewish population did everything possible to keep Lilith the fuck away from anything to do with reproducing.

what part of “demon queen of miscarriage” doesn’t compute to people?

(Source: shefoundherwayback)

advertencia-muerdo said: ah, i understand entirely. in that case, would you mind linking me to some of your more integral posts concerning your beliefs? specifically, i would very much like to know what led you to satanism rather than catholicism.

I would say that these would be some of my more important posts.

As for what led me to Satanism? 

I think that I may have to save that story for another day. I  may have posted a bit about it recently, but the shortest version I could give would be that I have great difficulty accepting the idea of humanity being worthy of forgiveness.

advertencia-muerdo sent: Have you ever thought of having a blog index? I believe it would be immensely helpful to both readers and yourself--not repeating answers, etc.

I actually think about it a lot.

Then I remember that it’s an accomplishment for me to be able to turn the alarm on my phone on.

So, while I do intend to make an index, it’s going to require a day that I don’t have much else to do but fight with simple technology.